


Fandango

by The WinneplaneO Girls (beckers), thelunaticfringe



Category: Cobra Starship
Genre: Crack, Fandango Puppets, Gen, This was written while sober - not kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckers/pseuds/The%20WinneplaneO%20Girls, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelunaticfringe/pseuds/thelunaticfringe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Gabe?” Suarez said slowly.  “That Fandango puppet looks a hell of a lot like you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fandango

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2008. Complete and total crack. Also, me and my friends may have actually made Cobra Starship Fandango Puppets. We have no shame...

Nate Navarro pulled up to the movie theater and parked.  He ran to the ticket window where the rest of Cobra Starship—Gabe Saporta, Victoria Asher, Ryland Blackinton, and Alex Suarez—were waiting impatiently. 

“Sorry,” Nate gasped out as he bought his ticket.  “Traffic.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Ryland said.  “Just buy the ticket and let’s get inside before we miss the previews.” 

“Yeah,” Gabe added.  “I don’t want to miss the Fandango puppets.  I love those fucking things.” 

The concession stand was packed, and after several long minutes, they were armed with popcorn, soda, and candy.  The five filed into a movie theater, arguing briefly over where they would sit.  Suarez and Nate scuffled briefly over the aisle seat, the fight being resolved when Victoria calmly stepped past them and took the seat herself.  At last, they got settled and the lights went dim. 

After exhortations to visit the concession stand and an admonition to silence the cell phones (Gabe’s phone began to play Michael Jackson’s _Thriller_ during the request to silence cell phones, and he quickly turned it off with a sheepish look), the screen went dark.  Gabe elbowed Ryland, who was sitting next to him.  “I love the fucking Fandango puppets.” 

“So you’ve said,” Ryland said dryly as the first Fandango commercial began to play. 

“This is weird,” Victoria commented.  “It doesn’t look like they’re at a movie theater.” 

“Gabe?” Suarez said slowly.  “That Fandango puppet looks a hell of a lot like you.” 

“Cool!” Gabe exclaimed as the puppet began to speak. 

_“Yeah, I’m in a band, and that makes it really hard to buy movie tickets--”_

“No, it doesn’t,” Gabe said.  “I just walk up to the fucking window and buy them like everybody else.” 

 _“—and so Fandango is like, really cool because I don’t have to wait at the window to buy tickets.”_  

“Your Fandango puppet is kind of a douche bag,” Ryland remarked.  “Too good to wait at the window for your fucking tickets?” 

“Oh, yeah?” Gabe challenged.  “Let’s see if yours does any better.”  He gestured to the screen. 

Ryland stared at the screen in surprise as another Fandango puppet came up on the screen.  “OK,” he said.  “This is getting creepy.” 

_“Fandango is perfect for someone like me--”_

“Holy shit, it’s you!” Nate said.  “Ry, it’s you!” 

“I’m aware,” Ryland replied. 

_“—because I’m so well-recognized that I can’t really just go up to a ticket window and buy tickets.”_

“Who is a douche bag?” Victoria asked, raising her eyebrows.  “You’re so well-recognized you can’t buy tickets at a ticket window?” 

“I didn’t say that!” Ryland protested.  “The puppet did!” 

Ryland-puppet left the screen, and another Fandango puppet took his place.  This puppet was female, with a Fandango puppet dog, and Victoria’s eyes widened.  “Hey!” she said.  “That’s me and Gizmo!” 

_“Most theaters won’t let me buy a ticket for my dog, so I buy with Fandango, and then I can buy for Gizmo.”_

The five of them were silent, then Gabe said, “That’s the dumbest reason to use Fandango I’ve ever heard.”  He looked at Victoria.  “You don’t actually _do_ that, do you?” 

“No!” Victoria protested. 

“Hey, look,” Ryland interrupted.  “Is that Nate or Suarez?” 

_“A lot of times, the theaters think my ID is fake--”_

“Nate,” Ryland, Gabe, Victoria, and Suarez all said at the same time, and Nate flushed. 

 _“—and with Fandango, all I have to do is buy the tickets and get them from the automated dispenser.  No one has to check my ID.  It’s great.”_  

“Aw,” Suarez said, “poor little Nate.” 

“Shut up,” Nate said, grinning in spite of himself. 

“Here comes Suarez!” Ryland interrupted. 

The Suarez-puppet was removed from the club scene and was in a kitchen, standing over a bubbling pot.  

_“I like to cook--”_

“What does that have to do with movie tickets?” Nate asked. 

“Shut up and let’s find out,” Suarez suggested. 

_“—and sometimes accidents happen and I don’t have cash to buy movie tickets.”_

The bubbling pot exploded, splashing Suarez-puppet with sauce.  The scene quickly changed to a hospital emergency room.  Suarez-puppet was bandaged, and handing a Fandango puppet nurse some money. 

 _“So, when I use all my money handling emergencies, Fandango will take credit cards.  That’s convenient.”_  

Finally, the Fandango puppet commercials ended, and Cobra Starship stood and applauded.  “Bravo!” Gabe cried out.  “I was a Fandango puppet, and it was fucking awesome!!” 

“Sit the fuck down!” someone from the back called, and Gabe turned around, flashing the heckler a huge grin and two middle fingers in the air.  At last, the applause ended, and the band sat back down. 

Up in the film booth, Becka, Patrice, Carrie, and Cathryn high fived and grinned.  

Mission accomplished.


End file.
